Are you being a good human being because someone told you so? Or are you being a good human being because you want to.

Even if you think you want to..... are you sure you truly feel it? Or do you just want to be a good human being for the selfish motive of not feeling guilty about wronging others?

Something happened yesterday that opened my eyes and laid bare my character right before me......

Are there some mistakes that you cannot make up for? Would my mistakes over the past few weeks be such mistakes?

I don't even know if I am trying to be good because I am God fearing.... what if I just want to be good so as to not face divine retaliation...

I'm so confused....

So nothing much done today.... It's Halloween night and everyone is out doing something or the other. I'm stuck trying to work on my Java assignment. Is it just me or is everyone cribbing about how stupidly insane the workload is? Why doesn't anyone speak up? Since when was having just a little fun in life prohibited? At what point in my life will it be okay to kick back, relax, and take it easy for a bit? Or will I be working hard forever, trying to aim for that dream of a good life which will never come?
What's more annoying is the fact that I'm probably the only one complaining. So many of my fellow students simply shrug and do the work as if it's nothing. But I don't know why I just can't take it. I want to have some fun. I know I'm here to study but since when did studies mean giving up on EVERYTHING in life? I thought studying was meant as a way of achieving learning to make life better by getting a good job and all that.
Why do I have to wake up every morning and dread the day that's going to follow? Why do I constantly have to worry about assignments and exams and tests and lectures? Why is there not a single day when I actually realize that there's nothing much to do and I can take it easy....?
If I am the only one complaining about this, does that make me insincere? Or does it make me the only person to recognize the needs that a human has? What the hell is going on? Am I alone? Or does someone else feel the same way I do?
Are all of us feeling the same way and are just afraid to take action because we think we're alone?

I wish life had a reset button sometimes.... to take back every stupid thing I've said and done....

Sometimes I've just taken things too far and taken too many people for granted. I'm sooooo stupid!!!

You learn from your mistakes.... but what if the mistake is so bloody humongous that things wont ever be the same again? How does one make up for something which he cant take back?

As human beings we are always on the search for someone who can understand us in and out, understand the way we think, the way we work, the problems, likes and dislikes that we have.

We are greedy for attention, for love, for friendship, for care, for affection. And when we don't get these things we get upset.

Yet what we do not realize is that there are already so many people that love us; In our greed we yearn for more and more and forget about the loved ones we left behind.

Currently playing in my head:

Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

Everything’s so blurry, and everyone’s so fake
And everybody’s empty, and everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you, I stumbled and I crawl
you could be my someone you could be my scene
You know that I’ll protect you from all of the obscene
I wonder what you’re doing Imagine where you are
There’s oceans in between us, and that’s not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face,
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face

Everyone is changing, there’s no one left that’s real
So make up your own ending, and let me know just how you feel
Cause I am lost with out you, I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you, I stumbled and I crawl
you could be my someone you could be my scene
You know that I will save you from all of the unclean
I wonder what you’re doin I wonder where you are
There’s oceans in between us but that’s not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face,
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face,
This pain you gave to me

Oh nobody told me what you thought,
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn,
Told you when to run away
Nobody told you where to hide,
Nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn,
Showed you when to run away

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face,
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face,
This pain you gave to me

No!
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away...
This pain you gave to me

Relationships depend on personality. Looks are a bonus.